Bork bork bork
October 7th, 2008
Maybe it’s all the classical I’ve been listening to as of late, but this was absolutely hilarious and really brightened my morning. Borka Borka Bork.
In Which I Chase a Squirrel
September 25th, 2008
The video pretty much explains everything…
And yes, I am breathing hard at the end of the video, deal with it. I’m a sysadmin, not an Olympic squirrel wrangler.
Photoshop Experiments
September 21st, 2008
I wondered if I still had my knack for using Photoshop, and I knew there was much more to learn that I’d never picked up before. This week I read a lot of photoshop tutorials, but the most important thing I never learned to use before: Brushes. I have NO idea how I’ve missed out this feature, and this week I discovered a few tutorials/videos on how to make photoshop do all sorts of things with my Wacom tablet that my ex-wife got me so many years ago. I’d really not been utilizing it enough. Without further delay, though, I’ll get to the art:
Promotional Artwork for Arsclan.net Turkey Shoot 2008 (my favorite camping trip):

Dan Rather nails why mainstream news sucks
September 6th, 2008
And now you have why I don’t watch the news.
Of Enders Game, my career and the Blackboard army
August 20th, 2008
My first 8 months at this job have been a roller coaster of seemingly intractable technical problems, breakthroughs, and finally being appreciated for what I am truly capable of. It’s been enjoyable and infuriating, and I’ve come to a number of conclusions. I’ve likened it to Ender’s Game, where ender is constantly tested and pushed past the breaking points, but continues to succeed because he is incapable of failure. Sometimes my perfectionist side does get the best of me, and in turn completely destroys any semblance of balance in my life… But I’m constantly learning new things that (surprisingly) I’m pretty good at, and getting to know myself and what I want better than ever before.
Sometimes you just have to COMMIT
July 31st, 2008
If I ever get married again, my wedding vows will be written in PL/SQL, with the honorable Larry Ellison presiding over the ceremony. I’m sure he’s gotten his ordination through the Universal Life Church by now.
START TRANSACTION
UPDATE life SET husband='matt', wife='julie';
Then Mr. Ellison would ask the crowd gathered at the event if there is any reason we shouldn’t be wed, and ROLLBACK; if so.
In the end marriage is about one thing, you just gotta COMMIT;.
If you didn’t understand a damn bit of that, you’re not nerdy enough, and should go learn about transactions, commits, and rollbacks.
Habitat for Inhumanity
June 11th, 2008
Congrats to [variable] on having his 15 minutes of fame on the daily show.
It’s too bad they didn’t let you keep the Enhanced Home Makeover shirt.
I have previously presented discourse in the area of discipline known to pessimists as “we’re fucked”, but we’ll go there again just in case you missed it the first time. But before I segue into the rambling you’re probably expecting, let me say that if Smart People think that we need something like this seed vault, we’re more screwed than I thought. Without further adieu, I link the Doomsday Seed Vault.
Starbuck in Scary Stormy Wonderland
June 4th, 2008
I awoke to a waterfall coming down the back steps of my house, but by virtue of the floor drain that wasn’t a problem. Once I sured up everthing in the basement, it was off to work. I got another series of surprises, trees down and blocking Erie ave in front of the police station, and part of the intersection on delta… but it wasn’t until I navigated that particular obstruction that I came upon this sad sight. Two approximately 200 year old oak trees were ripped clean out of the ground, flip over on their sides. The size of the root ball alone was bigger than a large SUV. Look at the steps for scale.
And for the first time, I do youtube! I hope this goes well.
Video contains: little tree snapped off, bigger tree snapped off, exceptionally huge tree ripped out. Sorry for the rambling, please let me know if you want the next two minutes of your life back.
But wait, there’s another one down. This time a pine…
Read the rest of this entry »
Don’t Mess With My Camera, Bro
May 13th, 2008
Jeremy Brooks has a great writeup entitled “If You Put That Picture On The Internet I’ll Call My Lawyer.” I can only hope to handle a similar situation in the same way. Although, there are parts of the city I want to photograph but will not venture there until I have my Ohio concealed firearm carry permit. Better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it.
