Comments on: This Is The Beginning Of The End http://mattsprinsky.com/blog/2008/11/16/this-is-the-beginning-of-the-end/ The life of a photographer, artist, sysadmin, explorer and backyard philosopher. Mon, 12 Jul 2010 04:38:24 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Dale Cuave http://mattsprinsky.com/blog/2008/11/16/this-is-the-beginning-of-the-end/comment-page-1/#comment-2607 Dale Cuave Mon, 09 Feb 2009 06:05:54 +0000 http://mattsprinsky.com/blog/?p=54#comment-2607 Matt; I read the touching blog you wrote about your dad and it makes me remember my good friend who is going through the same thing right now. I served with your dad sometime during the 70's I don't know the exact years. I remember him as a good man and remember your mom working in our headquarters. It's obvious the love you and your mom had for your dad. I know he will be missed. I'm sorry I was not in the area to attend his funeral. I have since seen photographs and the military did him well it appears. Please give my regards to your mom. I am sure she probably doesn't remember me but I do remember her and I do remember your dad. He's a good man... Dale Matt;
I read the touching blog you wrote about your dad and it makes me remember my good friend who is going through the same thing right now.
I served with your dad sometime during the 70’s I don’t know the exact years. I remember him as a good man and remember your mom working in our headquarters. It’s obvious the love you and your mom had for your dad. I know he will be missed. I’m sorry I was not in the area to attend his funeral. I have since seen photographs and the military did him well it appears.
Please give my regards to your mom. I am sure she probably doesn’t remember me but I do remember her and I do remember your dad. He’s a good man…

Dale

]]> By: Zap http://mattsprinsky.com/blog/2008/11/16/this-is-the-beginning-of-the-end/comment-page-1/#comment-1829 Zap Tue, 18 Nov 2008 01:57:41 +0000 http://mattsprinsky.com/blog/?p=54#comment-1829 What they said ^^^^ Though I'd like to drop a quote on you. "The most human thing we can do is comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable." - Clarence Darrow Rest easy and don't be so hard on yourself. Call if you need us. What they said ^^^^ Though I’d like to drop a quote on you.

“The most human thing we can do is comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.” – Clarence Darrow

Rest easy and don’t be so hard on yourself. Call if you need us.

]]> By: The Connery. http://mattsprinsky.com/blog/2008/11/16/this-is-the-beginning-of-the-end/comment-page-1/#comment-1823 The Connery. Mon, 17 Nov 2008 18:53:11 +0000 http://mattsprinsky.com/blog/?p=54#comment-1823 Matt mate Its a natural and normal reaction to freeze up like that, its just how people are wired. The difference is you can make a choice now, you know youre going to be confronted with shocks, you can deal with it, you can adapt and overcome. Think about it, how many times when you were lil and helpless did he wipe your ass? How many times did he pick you up when you fell down? How many times did he bail your sorry ass out of trouble when you were growing up? Its not shame or loss of dignity, he wont be thinking that, he`ll be thinking `damnit, I hate this, I hate having to put burdens on other people`. Put aside the clutter in your head my friend, there is no shame on either side here. Dont be afraid, you dont want to be looking back 5, 10 years down the line and thinking `damnit I`m an idiot, I shoulda.....` Regrets never heal, I know you well enough to know how big your heart is and how good a person you are (discounting the involvement of tequila). Just by being there, youre brought a big measure of comfort to your mom and dad, dont devalue yourself and get into self recrimination, it just hurts you more. Next time he needs to go and youre there, take him, or support one side while you mom gets the other. Then the next time, support him alone, it`ll mean a lot to him and your mom. Youre in our thoughts and prayers, it was good to see you online for a little while last night. Matt mate

Its a natural and normal reaction to freeze up like that, its just how people are wired. The difference is you can make a choice now, you know youre going to be confronted with shocks, you can deal with it, you can adapt and overcome.

Think about it, how many times when you were lil and helpless did he wipe your ass? How many times did he pick you up when you fell down? How many times did he bail your sorry ass out of trouble when you were growing up?

Its not shame or loss of dignity, he wont be thinking that, he`ll be thinking `damnit, I hate this, I hate having to put burdens on other people`. Put aside the clutter in your head my friend, there is no shame on either side here. Dont be afraid, you dont want to be looking back 5, 10 years down the line and thinking `damnit I`m an idiot, I shoulda…..`

Regrets never heal, I know you well enough to know how big your heart is and how good a person you are (discounting the involvement of tequila). Just by being there, youre brought a big measure of comfort to your mom and dad, dont devalue yourself and get into self recrimination, it just hurts you more.

Next time he needs to go and youre there, take him, or support one side while you mom gets the other. Then the next time, support him alone, it`ll mean a lot to him and your mom.

Youre in our thoughts and prayers, it was good to see you online for a little while last night.

]]> By: Ryan C (Syro) http://mattsprinsky.com/blog/2008/11/16/this-is-the-beginning-of-the-end/comment-page-1/#comment-1818 Ryan C (Syro) Mon, 17 Nov 2008 14:55:22 +0000 http://mattsprinsky.com/blog/?p=54#comment-1818 <3 and you know it <3 I was in a similar instance with my grandpa. He's a person I never really respected as a good man, but he is a person I respect as a veteran. He's seen and done things that would make me cry like a little bitch and beg for my mother. The man fought in the second world war admirably, that I can't deny. So I almost had a sense of pity when I had to help him go to the bathroom, or pick him up off the floor because he fell. It's a bit sad to see that from a man that could kill someone without hesitating. But at the same time humbling because I know some day I'll be there. Some day I'm going to need my children or grand kids to help me. So damn it, I better do something with my life before I get there. <3 and you know it <3

I was in a similar instance with my grandpa. He’s a person I never really respected as a good man, but he is a person I respect as a veteran. He’s seen and done things that would make me cry like a little bitch and beg for my mother. The man fought in the second world war admirably, that I can’t deny. So I almost had a sense of pity when I had to help him go to the bathroom, or pick him up off the floor because he fell. It’s a bit sad to see that from a man that could kill someone without hesitating. But at the same time humbling because I know some day I’ll be there. Some day I’m going to need my children or grand kids to help me. So damn it, I better do something with my life before I get there.

]]> By: Autumm http://mattsprinsky.com/blog/2008/11/16/this-is-the-beginning-of-the-end/comment-page-1/#comment-1807 Autumm Mon, 17 Nov 2008 06:10:53 +0000 http://mattsprinsky.com/blog/?p=54#comment-1807 Wow Matt, What an incredibly raw and emotional piece. Thank you for sharing this intense 
experience, I hope that in doing so it will serve not only as a form of therapy for you but also as a lesson in the heart for all of us that read it... It has for me anyway. My heart truly goes out to you, I have yet to lose my own parents but I can remember loosing my grandfather to brain and lung cancer when I was a young girl. I know that both of my parents, and aunts and uncles, talk about that awkwardness that comes from the role reversal of taking care of someone that has been your care giver your whole life. I get the feeling that this is probably especially difficult in your situation, as the way you describe your dad he sounds like a very proud man that would struggle with that role reversal. The only advice that I could give would be to try and remind him, and yourself, of the fact that he was the one that cared for you as you were baby (he 
probably wiped your backside) and a child and young man and that now the role has just 
returned back upon itself. That this is just another part of the cycle of life and the cycle of love, that it is natural and nothing to be ashamed of. My mom is alway really good with matters of dealing with people and emotions. She tells the story of having to help my grandfather (her father-in-law) to the bathroom when he was sick. She could tell he was really embarrassed, I mean she was not a blood relative so there was that distance but she was also not a neutral party like a nurse or doctor either so he felt really awkward having her help him in this way. So she just told him not to worry about it "because Bob (my father, his son) made her do it to him all the time". Of course it was just so ridiculous, as my father was a healthy middle aged man, it made him laugh and feel a bit more comfortable. I know it is hard to find humor in these times but try to find some lightheartedness in the darkness if it is at all possible. Fear not, know that this is a part of the natural cycle of all things, be proud of your dad and be proud of yourself and cherish these next few weeks. I will keep you and yours in my thoughts and prayers. Autumm Wow Matt,

What an incredibly raw and emotional piece. Thank you for sharing this intense 
experience, I hope that in doing so it will serve not only as a form of therapy for you but also as a lesson in the heart for all of us that read it… It has for me anyway.

My heart truly goes out to you, I have yet to lose my own parents but I can remember loosing my grandfather to brain and lung cancer when I was a young girl. I know that both of my parents, and aunts and uncles, talk about that awkwardness that comes from the role reversal of taking care of someone that has been your care giver your whole life. I get the feeling that this is probably especially difficult in your situation, as the way you describe your dad he sounds like a very proud man that would struggle with that role reversal. The only advice that I could give would be to try and remind him, and yourself, of the fact that he was the one that cared for you as you were baby (he 
probably wiped your backside) and a child and young man and that now the role has just 
returned back upon itself. That this is just another part of the cycle of life and the cycle of love, that it is natural and nothing to be ashamed of.

My mom is alway really good with matters of dealing with people and emotions. She tells the story of having to help my grandfather (her father-in-law) to the bathroom when he was sick. She could tell he was really embarrassed, I mean she was not a blood relative so there was that distance but she was also not a neutral party like a nurse or doctor either so he felt really awkward having her help him in this way. So she just told him not to worry about it “because Bob (my father, his son) made her do it to him all the time”. Of course it was just so ridiculous, as my father was a healthy middle aged man, it made him laugh and feel a bit more comfortable. I know it is hard to find humor in these times but try to find some lightheartedness in the darkness if it is at all possible.

Fear not, know that this is a part of the natural cycle of all things, be proud of your dad and be proud of yourself and cherish these next few weeks.

I will keep you and yours in my thoughts and prayers.

Autumm

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